She Will Be ♥

Face Value

At face value, the first time you see a girl like me, I already have two strikes against me. I’m a woman. I’m a woman of dark skin. Not light, not medium brown or chestnut, just dark skin. But when I look in the mirror, I see a woman of multi-faceted layers. You have to peel me back like an union and you’ll be surprised to see – no pun intended – that I’m more than just a woman that identifies with being dark skin. And here’s why: one day, I became intrusively close to awareness of my skin color; more so than in the past. And no one, unless you have walked in my shoes every day, can convince me that you see what I see.

A beautiful midsummers evening, I was out taking my two Yorkie pups for a walk, Annie and Aedi. It was my normal route too, down the street to the end of the block and back up to the other side of the street. As I approached the corner of Thomaston and Ridgefield, a black Nissan Altima began to slow down. I live in the middle of Hartford, a half a block from one of the most notorious parks in Hartford. Glancing to my right shoulder, I began to tug on Annie and Aedi’s leash and called for them to come on. A black middle aged man was driving and he stopped the car. Winding down the window, his first words to me were “Those are some really cute puppies. What breed they is?”

Taking a breath and looking to the car, I replied “Thank you. They’re yorkie puppies.”

“How old they is? They look young,” he continued the conversation.

“They just turned seven months old and don’t get much bigger than this.” Hoping this was the end of our exchange, I again began to tug on their leashes and call their names as I headed back down the street.

“Uhh, umm, you look beautiful, by the way,” he rushed.

Stopping dead in my tracks, a small smile broke out over my face. It’s not every day I’m stopped and told I’m beautiful. But he was a stranger nonetheless and I hoped he expected nothing more than a thank you.

Turning back to him, I replied cordially, “Thank you. That was kind.” Instinctively, I was tugging for my puppies to come along.

“Why you talk so proper and you a black girl,” he asked.

Before shooting down his question, not entertaining an answer and walking off in the opposite direction or sounding condescending, I asked “What constitutes someone talking white versus talking black?”

“Well, um, you live in Hartford and you a black woman, so I would think you talk like all of us. You know, not proper or whatever,” he hurried to explain.

“I can understand your opinion. And although there is nothing wrong with NOT speaking proper, there is nothing wrong with speaking proper either. I practice being a fair individual. At first glance, you believe that I am just black. But identifying with being black is deeper than just having coffee or chestnut colored skin. I’m also Jamaican, but don’t speak Patios. I am Jewish but do not speak Hebrew. I am also Irish but not speak Gaelic and I am East Indian but do not speak Hindi. I am me. Thank you for your compliment and it was very nice chatting with you.”

The words lingered in the air. His face shifted from puzzled to understanding and then to realization. Realization that he was still at a stop sign and there were two cars behind him. 

Decoding Jay-Zs 'Decoded'

Heralded as one as the ‘greatest rapper alive’, this past summer, Jay-Z decided to venture where few rappers have ventured before. To take, what he has so successfully versed into a handful of the greatest songs of my time, into a visual and idealistically worded memoir. ‘Decoded’ is Sean Carters story, written based on his life growing up in the Marcy Projects, Brooklyn, New York. Weaving his love of the cipher and music successfully into a narrative, he explains his music, his life, his world. In One Eye Open he begins by describing seeing his first cipher. The clear images, without overpowering it with too much imagery, he keeps the piece moving. “I wasn’t even in high school yet and I’d discovered my voice. But I still needed a story to tell. Hip-hop was looking for a narrative, too.”

Hip-hop became his narrative as well. They were both very much intertwined. “My life after childhood has two main stories: the story of the hustler and the story of the rapper, and the two overlap as much as they diverge.” Successfully, he connects the dots of hustling, the realities it brings and the dreams that come with harboring his talent which helps push the story along. He uses the story of his discovery of selling drugs and the money it allows him to make to reveal his story. He explained his lifestyle, he aimed to discover the truth of the people’s lives around him. Jay-Z’s lyrical content to reflect the life he lived. Crack also became his hustle. In ‘Where I’m From’ Jay-Z explicitly describes Marcy and the power crack and hustling carried every day of his life. “Where the plans was to get funds and skate off the set/” and later he explains that the ambitions of a drug-seller was a paradox: to make money to leave it all behind while using the hustle as a temporary job. In just this short excerpt, Jay-Z has allowed the reader to see his craft and the power it carries as well as its form of art. He reversed his reality and made his dreams come true.

Janelle Harris, The Write or Die Chick

...Janelle Harris is my new obsession. I'm thirsty for any piece she publishes...

Janelle Harris is a Lincoln University alumna and mother from Washington D.C. chief writer and editor. With ten years of experience as a freelance writer, editor and blogger, she writes specifically targeting Black culture and society as well as women’s issues. Her outlets include Essence, Heart & Soul, Upscale, Uptown, The Stir at CafeMom, MediaBistro, Yahoo and Clutch. Although not limited by engaging and enlightening editorials, she also writes: reports, thesis edits, print newsletters, press releases, magazine articles, bios and business profiles, custom published pieces, grant reviews and much more.

I respect the numerous published works of Janelle Harris because not only is she dedicated, but she is also very talented and writes to target Black culture and women’s issues. Her expressive nature allows her to write outspokenly about what plagues ethnic minority women, capturing content with eloquent ease and exuberance. With fresh and timely, snappy writing ideas, her style is concise.

Check out her website - www.thewriteordiechick.com because you won't be dissapointed!

Don’t fear, your first dance class is work, but it’s fun too!

I remember my first time at dance class – my hands and feet were compulsively sweating – with great failure I could not hide – I was breathing heavy and I didn’t know a person except my twin sister. To make matters worse, a guy – wait, weren’t all dance teachers women?! – was barking at us, to move through barre positions. It was like he was speaking French to someone who was Asian. I felt like a tiny fish circled by sharks. And I wished my mother had told me what to expect before I decided to sign up.

That first intensive class was the hardest; but I was so proud, astounded and overwhelmed when I had successfully finished and passed out on the ground. I remember sitting along the ceiling-to-floor glass, watching the advanced girls in the company, no older than myself, dancing an afro-jazz number to ‘Israelites’ by Desmond Dekkard and imagining myself right on the floor with them. And what was better, Mr. Fletcher, our master choreographer said I had good feet!

Dancing with the Caribbean American Dance Company, CADC, this December going on 8 years, has been one of my greatest accomplishments to date. And let’s just say that I have a hard time sticking to extracurricular activities – first it was running in elementary school, then a bit of soccer, and then some tennis. Finally, through the near begging of my mother and sister, I twirled my way to dance class.

With much conviction, dance has taught me discipline and it is much harder than it looks. Mr. Fletcher always said dance was ‘blood, sweat and tears,’ and he was right. The adage of discipline and commitment had truly paid off, and although I’m not the world’s greatest dancer, surviving my first dance class was a triumph. Looking back at that horrifying experience, I wish a guided hand was present to give me motivation and advice. Therefore, I have devised some tips for prospective bunheads, the non-committers and the exploring-fabulous-dancers-to-be:

1. First and foremost, pay attention to what the teacher tells you to do. Your movements for the next two hours, at minimum, are their responsibility so please give them your undivided attention. P.S. nothing ticks them off more than someone who won’t listen!
2. Sometimes you only have to go to a class once to feel like an old hand the next time. Remember that some in the sea of faces you encounter on your first class may only be on their second or third lesson themselves.
3. Coryse Williams, my first ballet instructor and principle dancer at CADC said “It always brings back memories watching the new dancers at the beginning of the season stand in the corner when the studio is being set up. And you know what, my first piece of advice when I started was to join in and help. It’s a wonderful way to just make a friend.” And I completely agree, join in and help because it breaks the ice.
4. If you don’t understand a step, scream “HELP!?” before going on. Any attempts, even as an experienced dancer, can have you on the floor with three fractured metatarsals, much like my sister completing a sache-gone-bad.
5. Have your hair in a ponytail or bun and wear black leotard, tights and a cover-up (if you’re a bit uncomfortable). If you don’t have a black leotard, a black tank top will do. You will be on the floor so breathable clothing is important, but remember: dance clothing should always support your body to look taller and slimmer.
6. You’re there to learn for you, so as tempting as it may seem, steer clear of the “I-wish-I-could-dance-like-them” mentality. An awful lot of the first dance class nerves are more about being in an alien environment on your own, rather than executing the dance moves to full ability.
7. I remember dress rehearsal in preparation of our annual Christmas show – the first show I would dance in – amidst the last number, I clipped the heel of a fellow dancer, stepped on my skirt and face planted. And in two seconds, I was back on my feet. Bottom line, prepare to fall. Yes it’s embarrassing, but as good as it feels to nail a performance the first time around, it feels even better to keep going after hitting the ground.
8. You’re not in a foreign language class, but pay attention to unfamiliar vocabulary.
9. Whether anxious or excited, a racing heart rate is never good. When you breathe, you reset your stress level so you can focus and that makes dance more enjoyable.
10. Have fun!

‘The Help’ takes the Cake with Southern Comfort

Set in the 1960s south, ‘The Help,’ based on Kathryn Stockett’s New York Times bestseller, and as written and directed by Tate Taylor, is a richly decorated movie with a cast including the exceptional Viola Davis and Emma Stone and the scene delightful Octavia Spencer. The director drives the viewers into a movie that tells the story of the African American serving class.

Working alongside with the novel, ‘The Help’ takes the viewer’s inside an unlikely rising as Miss Skeeter, played by Emma Stone, an Ole Miss grad. She arrives back home and upon receiving wise words from a publishing company in New York and sets out to write a book that stands for something she does. Skeeter decides to tell a story told from the perspective of the help including their secrets, outrages and the unbreakable bonds they share with the families they work for. For both the help, the families they serve, and Skeeter, the process becomes a test of courage.

Seeing the world through a different set of lens is Aibileen, played by Viola Davis. Skeeter initially enlists Aibileen to help her with the cleaning advice column she's writing for the Jackson Journal. But as Skeeter and the help faces numerous legal boundaries, like not being able to express their freedom of speech, the burden of losing their jobs become all too precious.

The story of Minnie, played by Octavia Spenser, a feisty yet humble mother of five and ‘the best cook in ole’ Miss,’ comes alive as well. Minnie leaves the viewer crying, screaming and laughing throughout every scene. Davis and Spencer are both brilliant, weaving hopes and broken dreams with every line and every action.

Capturing the rigidity and dangers of the 1960’s is a vivid scene Taylor directs gracefully and honestly, that kept me holding my breath until the end: one evening as Aibileen and a young man are going home, the bus is suddenly stopped by a cop ordering all the black passengers off, explaining that a man has been shot up the road. After Aibileen and the young man exchange worried goodbyes, frightened and scared for her life, she begins to run. It’s Mississippi, at night, during civil rights movement, and I would be scared too.

The actors are fresh and three-dimensional, stomping the word caricature into the ground. Yet the end of ‘The Help’ is unsure and fails to address the difficulties of the era to come. Although this one shortcoming, Taylor directs a heart-wrenching movie packed with insistent emotion which keeps the viewers on their toes till the very end.

Changing the Specs of Financial Aid

If the federal government mandates the creation of a ‘college scorecard,’ per Obama’s new proposal, families and students would be better equipped to make educated and informed decision for college affordability. The ‘scoreboard’ would provide a breakdown of tuition/affordability, graduation rates and average student loan debt versus earning potential of graduates.

Since the 1980s, the cost of public four-year college and universities more than tripled due to a dramatic decrease in state financial support. And in the last ten years, according to College Board, federal college loan debt increased from $41 billion to $103 billion. The rise in costs has become the burden of students like myself, and as a result, we borrow larger amounts of money, increasing personal debt. Further, fulltime students can attest to the emphasis placed on working and earning extra cash to bridge the gaps financial aid can barely cover.

Critics mention that mandating a ‘college scoreboard,’ stomps on the toes of college and university financial aid departments across the country because it requires a stronger dedication of time, more information and resources. But in my opinion, the responsibility of the federal government is to ensure that student aid is filtered effectively to those whom demonstrate need. 

Obama’s new plan requires these changes to be readily accessible for the student body and their parents. Katherine Gargano, a senior pursuing her B.B.A. in Marketing here at WestConn said, “I think that’s [college scoreboard] a great idea! Students and parents don’t know where to locate this information sometimes and they should consider that the earning income numbers are just a projection, not actual amounts. And let’s face it, parents and students can’t be lazy; they have to always ask questions!”

Financial aid is directly correlated to the promptness of graduation for students enrolled in higher education institutions. In accordance with need, full-time students, those registered for 12 or more credits, are granted a specific amount in financial aid. In almost all circumstances, financial aid can barely cover the costs of full-time attendance and in these cases, students either commute between home and campus daily, like my sister and I do, or stay on campus, working 20 or more hours a week to supplement aid. And as a fulltime student entering my fifth year in college this fall, I know that burden all too well.

College was never a question and still remains a valued requirement to my family and me. But every year, with the constant increase of tuition and costs, and the decrease in financial aid, the predictability of borrowing additional loans takes us by surprise. Furthermore, there are federal regulations implemented against taking out more loans than necessary for the academic year. With my sister and I enrolled as full-time students, the finances never seem to be enough. It’s my hope that with the approval of Obama’s plan by Congress, families and students are never ill-equipped to make these decisions.

I praise Obama’s transparency initiatives for the affordability of college and universities. Bottom line, if prospective students and their families seek to make more sound decisions while facing rising debt and hikes in tuition, they need more accurate, detailed information.